On a Date

As I was peeing, a magazine sitting atop of the toilet tank caught my eye. I reached for it, without affecting the accuracy of my stream, and proceeded to skim through the pages. It was one of those celebrity gossip magazines, and although I don’t normally read those things, I became very absorbed in it. So absorbed that I didn’t notice I was peeing on my jeans.

– Excerpt from My First Car Was a Motorcycle, My First Girl Was a Woman